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BELLpeppers by Rashmi Oberoi-Being Inhuman




Bell peppers by Rashmi Oberoi-



            Salman Khan-Rashmi Oberoi-fnbworld


I am but a ‘Limited Edition’ apparently...and may just be the only one who won’t be watching ‘Bajrangi Bhaijaan’ (the recent Hindi film geting rave reviews) and I can’t fathom the hullabaloo surrounding this movie. You see, I thought our country had evolved...and people would have matured... but evidently, the ‘thinking caps’ were blown away by this movie that comes with a ‘Being Human’ slant that my brain just doesn’t come to terms with. Have patience with me please...I am losing my mind and it is also being riddled with a twist of lime to my ignorant thoughts and that is not helping at all. The smithereen lime should be in the vodka and not in my thoughts I keep soliloquizing!



In my extremely exuberant and positive outlook to life, I thought this would be the time when we would all find the opportunity to shun the movie and show our holler towards the justice system that is so blinded by Bollywood that it has different rules for them and us (the common WoMan) who remain nameless in injustice. And what about the followers who worship him thoughtlessly, forgetting all his wrong-doings and praising him to high heavens. But silly, ‘ol me what do I know... I need to really thwack my head and come to terms with the fact that ‘Bollywood Poachers and Killers’ are excused from all acts inhumane and everything is accepted. It’s all hunky dory...all is forgiven Salman Baba...please come home...your ever-faithful and loving family. You may ‘punish’ humans and animals alike – for we have no problem.”

Now this humane touch everyone speaks of all over social media and not to forget the movie reviews. Of course, it is mind-rattling because I thought ‘Being Human’ is all about compassion and empathy for the wronged, not the perpetrator. What about straightforward facts that speak about: Rash and negligent driving that resulted in him running over 5 people, injuring them and killing one; the strange kidnapping and mysterious death of the prime witness; faster than you can say ‘Jack Robinson’ kind of bail and back to running around trees and gyrating hips and showing off bare torsos within days. No one even cares a rat’s ass for the poor ‘Chinkara’ that was nothing but a Celebrity’s Poach! Alas! He died in vain...and in pain. So I presume it ‘might’ be alright to kill and poach and drive around recklessly and so on and so this leaves a sour taste... the vodka I mean... who cares about my bantering...? Aye aye say a few! Thank heavens for that.

But I do have a problem with all this... I know... I am such a pain in the ‘A’ that ends with double ‘S’. And so I voice my opinion very vocally and get ready for the onslaught of rebuke and hate from the ‘mesmerised’...and then I am pleased to see there are a few out there with the very same views and angst. But surely, we are a minority and you know what happens to minorities. Shhhsshhh... let’s just brush it all under the dhurrie and get on with our lives and them blinkers do a hell of a good job in ensuring the mind doesn’t digress to matters of importance. Minorities you see: Hear No Evil; Speak No Evil; Do NO Evil... Silence is Golden but brightly coloured pungent peppers can’t escape your eyes, they beckon you to make a dish wish.

All I ask is what would... YOU... Yes YOU out there do if Sallu had run over one of yours or even injured a loved one? Would you chant: Salman Salman or would the resounding words be something else? Your answer till now being that everyone makes mistakes...we must forgive. Then let us all continue to blame it on ‘mistakes’ and hide behind veiled charades and let the hand of law not touch us in anything improper and pestilent that we was just a mistake you see...forgive and forget. Move on!

So what’s your path going to be...? PopCorn or BeConned...!! Life is all about just have to tick the right one...yes, you con... err can!!


Note: This is an offbeat/satirical column.

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